Avengers, Assemble?
by Tony Stark's Hidden Side
Summary: After New York, Nick Fury decides the Avengers should be a permanent unit, and emails invitations to all of them. He gets 6 refusals. There are many reasons the Avengers don't want to assemble, but they all boil down to "there's no way Tony and Steve are ever going to get along." And then something goes wrong, and Tony and Steve have only one way to survive: rely on each other.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N - This will be a few chapters, if I had to throw out a wild guess I'd say 5 or 6, but don't quote me on that.**

The Avengers Initiative was labelled a time bomb from the very beginning. It was scrapped until Nick Fury decided the world had no other options. Even after New York, there was absolutely no way the ragtag group of solo superheroes (or the pair of maverick agents) was ever going to form anything remotely resembling a usable team.

Fury decided he'd have a go anyway, because the Council had said the same thing about some of his best teams until they were abruptly proved wrong. The Avengers deserved a chance to prove people wrong.

He hadn't really thought about the fact that they might refuse.

"So, let me get this straight." He turned his chair around to stare at Agent Hill with his one good eye. "Banner refusing, I might have expected. But _all of them_?"

The woman simply handed over a thin file folder of emails in response to the invitation. "Mister Stark and Captain Rogers seemed to agree on the fact that the Council could not be trusted. They elected not to completely associate themselves with SHIELD."

"Much as I appreciate that level of intelligence," Fury muttered, "the world still needs them, whether SHIELD has a hand in it or not."

"Sir?" Agent Hill raised her eyebrows, knowing that her boss preferred to have a hand in _everything_ important going on in the world. The formation of something like the Avengers surely couldn't be the exception.

"Agent, get me Captain R-" he held up a hand and interrupted himself, looking thoughtful. "Agent Hill, get me Mister Stark."

Tony appeared on the screen in less than five minutes, holding a mug of coffee and looking utterly relaxed. "Please tell me this isn't about trying to get me on SHIELD's payroll," he started. "Honestly, I'd almost rather have another alien invasion."

"Not exactly." Fury placed a folder on the table, knowing Stark's hands would start itching immediately at seeing the file and not being able to open it. "These are the entire team's rejections of SHIELD's offer to make the Avengers a permanent unit. All six of them."

"Oh, I'm not going to like this conversation, I can already tell." Tony's face locked down into the mask he sometimes gave his own Board of Directors. "Tell me what you're pitching here."

Fury shook his head. "I'm not pitching anything. I'm giving you the facts and hoping you do the right thing with them."

The billionaire's eyebrows rose. This really was serious if Fury was appealing to his dubious morality. "...I like facts. Shoot." He couldn't help but be curious.

"Doctor Banner's reasons are exactly what you would expect. Too much danger to civilians if the Hulk is used." Fury pushed aside that paper and scanned the next one. "Thor believes the Avengers would not welcome Asgardian interference and that Agent Barton in particular probably wouldn't want anything to do with him. Also he apparently has a girlfriend in England he wants to spend his time with, not that he says that in the email."

Tony nodded slowly. "Well, I already know what mine says. In my defense, though, _not a team player_ is in my evaluation. Did you ever really expect me to want this?"

"We were hoping that once you gained a little trust in your teammates you might decide this was a good experience to have," Fury replied honestly, something that was becoming a rare occurrence. "It can be helpful to have powerful people in your corner when shit hits the fan."

Tony considered that, and nodded for the intelligence director to continue.

"Captain Rogers is the only one who was even remotely open to the possibility, but he is, and I quote, _fairly certain there are certain members of the team who would never accept my leadership or the direction of the military (SHIELD included), and you can't exactly draft them."_

"Certain members _plural_?"

"Stark, I'm pretty sure he was just trying to avoid singling you out." Fury sighed. "Agent Barton is actually apparently fine with Thor's involvement, but he says he's more comfortable in a smaller team - which is bullshit, he'll work anywhere we put him up until now, so I have no idea what's rubbing him the wrong way."

Tony rolled his eyes. "Aren't you supposed to have all the answers, Fury? He's not in until Natasha is in, and I'm guessing Natasha isn't in."

Fury was pretty sure he was going to have a stroke within a week if Stark kept being so annoyingly _correct_ all the time. "Agent Romanoff says she still feels like the team is a time bomb, with, and I quote again, _a conflict at its core that runs too deep for any call made in battle to go unquestioned._ " He arched an eyebrow.

"Well, she isn't _wrong_. Look, if you're telling me to play nice with Spangles, you're going to be waiting a damn long time."

Fury pressed a button and cut the video conference. He had done the only possible thing he could do: presented all the information and left the problem to solve itself. Whether it would or not… well, Tony Stark couldn't possibly be as smart as his file implied. He would give 4% odds of the Avengers ever regrouping, and he felt that was rather generous.

But he also felt he had to try.


	2. Chapter 2

**A/N - in which the Avengers avoid each other like the plague and Fury gets some advice.**

On the one hand, he understood where Fury was coming from. A superhero team, used to working together and ready for anything, was probably the best chance Earth had at surviving the attacks from other worlds that were getting all too common lately.

On the other hand, Tony Stark most definitely did not play well with others.

Romanoff was right, the Avengers were a ticking time bomb. She had worded it very succinctly with that business about " _a conflict at its core that runs too deep for any call made in battle to go unquestioned."_ There was no question that she meant him and Cap. It wasn't exactly a secret that they were at each other's throats right up until New York.

New York. He shivered. He hated thinking about that now, which was difficult seeing as his tower was _literally right under where the portal had been_. Seriously, staying in this location was _not_ the best decision he had ever made for his mental health.

Somehow, in New York, they had managed to get along just fine. Well, maybe that was because there were too many _aliens_ to argue over whether a soldier from the 1940s should really have the authority to lead a team of superheroes against a global threat.

Well, actually, it might not have been because they were too busy fighting aliens. It might have been because he was the one who said "Call it, Cap," so he couldn't exactly ignore those orders when the came. He hadn't exactly had any better ideas.

His phone buzzed. Usually he would ignore it, but he could use a distraction. "All right, Jarvis, ten bucks says it's Pepper." He pulled his phone out of his pocket and checked the caller ID. Rogers. "God dammit. Hey, Capsicle, what's up?"

"Ah. Nothing. I was just wondering if you got a call from Fury too."

"Yeah, about the whole _why is everyone rejecting our generous offer of mix-and-matching a superteam_ thing? He went on about it for like ten minutes."

Steve honestly sounded surprised. "Uh. No. About the giant robot attacking Venezuela?" Well, _that_ was new. "I guess not. Sorry to bother you, then."

"Are you telling me someone told Fury _giant robot_ and he didn't think of me? Wow. I'm hurt. Actual pain over here." He kept his voice light, but he knew there was a reason behind everything the damned pirate did, and this couldn't be an exception.

The question was, by going to Venezuela (because there was a _giant robot_ and damn he wanted to see one of those) would he be playing right into Fury's hands?

And why had Rogers called him anyway? "Did you need backup, or was this more of a _hey, do you like giant robots_ call?"

"I think it should be okay. I just kind of assumed you were going. Sorry. See you around." With that, the soldier immediately hung up, no doubt already headed to wherever SHIELD would pick him up to go deal with the giant robot.

Tony stayed home. He thought he knew what Fury's game was: just keep throwing the Avengers together until they got along. Well, that was a horrible idea of Tony ever heard one. He kept out of Venezuela until he heard about pieces of a giant robot being removed. He couldn't resist texting Steve a hundred and one questions about it, though. The soldier's answers weren't terribly technical, but they satisfied his curiosity, so that was something.

The next time Tony was called in by SHIELD, it wasn't as a consultant but as a superhero. The evaluation Natasha had given, "Iron Man yes, Tony Stark no," had apparently been creatively misfiled. Tony made sure not to sign any contracts.

" _Fairly certain there are certain members of the team who would never accept my leadership or the direction of the military (SHIELD included), and you can't exactly draft them"_ Steve had apparently said in his rejection of the Avengers. Damn, that was true enough. Fury couldn't draft him, but he was valiantly trying.

Say what you will about the man, Tony reflected, he never gives up.

Nicholas Fury was starting to get exasperated.

Four separate times over seventeen days he had sent one Avenger into a mission where another would have been useful as backup. Steve's giant robot problem obviously needed Iron Man's expertise, when he had asked Tony to gather intelligence from a Hydra base he definitely could have called in Natasha, Clint's assignment to destroy yet another of said Hydra bases definitely could have used some raw power behind it, be that the Hulk or Thor…

At least Natasha had called in Clint about the undercover infiltration and assassination. Good to know his best two Agents were still working together. But every plan he had to throw the others together and get them functioning as a team… well, they weren't even _calling_ each other. He needed some answers, honest ones, and ironically he knew where to get honest answers.

"Agent Romanoff." He pulled her aside into a conference room as she was returning from the assassination, waving Clint through to debriefing. "We need to talk about your rejection of the Avengers proposal."

She sighed and sat on the edge of the room's one large table. "What, they won't be manipulated into forming the team on their own?" She smiled at his look of surprise. "We _have_ been texting each other when you throw us into situations we're obviously supposed to want backup for. Hell, Tony called me just last week to ask why in hell you would put him on a mission obviously tailored to my skillset."

"I see." He sighed. He should have known that when you put two master spies and a genius on the wrong end of the mind games, they would see right through you. "Well, let me just cut to the chase, then: you refused to be part of the team because of a core conflict. I assume you meant Stark and Rogers."

"Stark is never going to take orders from Captain America just because he's Captain America, sir, and I'm pretty sure I told you that before you called him in." She shrugged. "You weren't in New York, they would have been arguing like children if there hadn't been an emergency. Stark ceded authority only because there wasn't any other choice."

The director drummed his fingers on the table. "There was another choice: he could have called the fight himself. Why didn't he?"

"Because he doesn't actually want to be in charge," she said, rolling her eyes. "He just doesn't want anyone to have any authority over _him_ , especially not someone his dad could not shut up about. He doesn't take orders well, Director, but he doesn't need to be in charge."

Fury nodded. That pretty much confirmed what he had thought about the man, but it was always important to get Natasha's opinion. She could read people like nobody else he'd ever met. "Well, here's an idea. We put together the team, only, no Stark. Call him in when we need him as an independent-"

"Nope." She shook her head instantly. "You don't have Stark, you don't have Banner. You don't have Stark, nobody questions anything, and we lose at least half our ability to adapt to situations. Not to mention, he's our eyes in the sky. Thor can fly, but he isn't paying attention to the entire battlefield at once, knowing exactly where each member of the team is at all times, like Tony can do when he's in the suit. No Tony, and all you have is a five people running around smashing things and probably getting ourselves killed."

He sighed. He should know that, he had been the one to insist on bringing Stark in when the Tesseract was taken, and it sure wasn't because they needed his technical expertise (well, that too, actually). It had been because the Avengers needed Iron Man. "So, if we can't take out Iron Man, can we take out Rogers?" He already knew the answer, so when Natasha shook her head, he didn't ask for an explanation. Captain America really was the only one who could ever keep the team in line. "So? What do we have to do to get those two working together?"

She thought about it for a minute. "You aren't going to like it."

"At this point, I'll take almost anything."

Nodding, the assassin hopped off the table and headed for the door. "Stark has trust issues. Justified trust issues, but still. He's not going to follow any man he doesn't feel like he can trust, and that includes Rogers. And that includes you."

"So, what do we do about it?" Fury was really starting to get impatient.

"I'm not sure," she admitted, "but somehow you're going to have to get Stark to trust either Captain America or Steve Rogers. And that means you're going to have to abandon the whole _try to trick us into asking for each other's help_ and just call them in together."

"Call in those two? Together? They'll be at each other's throats!"

She raised her eyebrows. "I told you you weren't going to like it."


	3. Chapter 3

Honestly? Steve didn't mind the idea of the Avengers. Actually, he thought it was great, and he would love to be part of a team again, but there was a big problem with the idea of putting civilians and soldiers together and hoping they would get along. Stark had summed it up quite well on the Helicarrier: _We aren't soldiers._ He and Banner were just civilians caught up in the whole craziness of the world. Thor was the prince of another planet. Romanoff and Barton, they were trained agents, they would follow his orders in battle, but the rest… he couldn't be sure, and if he was going to lead a team, he had to be sure.

Still, when a message came through from Fury: _Big problem in Iceland, need you and Stark on it ASAP,_ well, he wasn't exactly going to say no. Honestly, just from a power perspective, he loved having Iron Man watching his back. And New York certainly proved that he wasn't a coward. The only problem was the fact that he would probably question every order and every part of the mission and, well, _everything_. So, he was happy to get a chance to fight with Stark again, but he was more than a little apprehensive. For one thing, would Stark be willing to go on a mission with him?

Actually, he was surprised that his fellow Avenger even showed up. He showed up twenty minutes late, sure, but he showed up, so Steve decided not to say anything about the time. Fury, of course, had no such reservations. "You're late, Stark."

"And you're cryptic." Tony shrugged, holding up his phone. "What kind of _Big problem_ is in Iceland? Is this classified? Why the hell do you need me and Spangles to go to _Iceland_? It's freezing, and my suit isn't exactly perfectly insulated."

"Stark, your suit provides enough power to heat the inside for a week." Fury raised his eyebrows and sighed. "If you aren't up to the mission, say so now, but we have information from our best intelligence team that Hydra may be building a superweapon on the island of Grimsey, inside the Arctic Circle. If they succeed, it could have a range of 2400 miles, far enough to decimate Turkey, Algeria… or the Northeastern United States."

Tony's eyebrows shot straight up. "Are you kidding me? That's impossible. Like, I'm not being arrogant here, even _I_ couldn't build something like that. Are you sure about this?"

"Positive. The team came back with irrefutable proof. You leave in an hour." Fury glared at them both with his good eye. "Unless you don't think you can handle this mission?"

And in truth, Steve _wasn't_ sure he could handle it. Not just because he had no authority over Stark, but also because a mission in the Arctic Circle really wasn't a good idea for a man who had been frozen for seventy years. Honestly, Fury should know that, but if he said this mission needed Captain America's skills, he must have decided it was worth the risk.

From the way Tony was looking at him, he hadn't missed the hesitation. Steve was quick to realize he still technically hadn't answered Fury. "I'm sure we'll be fine, sir."

"Yeah, it's going to be great. Practically a vacation." Normally, Steve would have been annoyed that Tony was treating the mission like it wasn't important, but Bruce had already pointed out that it was just the inventor's way of pretending he wasn't nervous. Hydra having a superweapon? Now that was just plain nasty, and they both knew it. "Is it just the two of us?"

Fury nodded. "We can't spare any other agents," he admitted. "Grimsey is just one of five possible locations for the superweapon, and we're using all our resources tracking down the four most likely targets."

"So we're probably on a wild goose chase? Sounds about right. I'm telling you there's no _way_ jokers like them managed to put together something that powerful."

Fury was practically steaming. "And I am telling _you_ , Mister Stark, that it doesn't matter how many times you say it's impossible, SHIELD has _found one._ We need you to destroy it."

" All right, amazing, perfect." Tony's sarcasm was only growing more cutting. "When do we leave?"

"Right now," the director answered. "And try not to get separated." He fixed Stark with a long glare and ushered them out of the office.

* * *

Fury was pretty sure this plan was going to backfire in his face.

Usually, he would have put Iron Man solo on this mission, considering that all signs pointed to the superweapon being in a warmer location. Natasha's advice, though, caused him to call in two Avengers for one simple scouting mission. And the two most likely to be at each other's throats, too, as if the situation wasn't volatile enough.

"Sir?" Speak of the devil and she shall appear. Natasha whisked into the room with her customary lack of appointment. "What's this I hear about a Hydra superweapon?"

He raised his eyebrows. "I thought Agent Barton would have told you all about it. He was the one who filed the first intelligence team's report, after all. You'll be glad to hear that Captain Rogers and Mister Stark are on the least likely of the locations, maybe it'll be some good bonding time for them." He sighed and turned his attention back to the reports. Three more intelligence teams had sent in reports about possible superweapon locations, and he was almost convinced at this point that it was being built somewhere in Russia.

"Agent Barton filed the first report?" Natasha was uncharacteristically edgy. "Are you sure? Did it have the proper authorizations?"

"Of course. You don't think I'd send out most of my agents and two superheroes based on a report that wasn't completely confirmed, do you?" He frowned. "Additionally, four other intelligence teams have filed reports on possible superweapon sightings. Agent Romanoff, if you know something I don't, now would be an excellent time to say so."

She hesitated. "Sir, did you assign that mission to Agent Barton personally?" He shook his head, and she continued a little more determinedly, "We make a point of always knowing where the other is, sir, and the last I heard he was still in Singapore."

"Agent Romanoff, this was a highly classified mission-"

"Sir, with all due respect, I would double-check Agent Barton's involvement in the intelligence team at all." She raised one eyebrow. "He checked in with me from Singapore less than an hour ago, so unless he went straight back there and decided not to tell me about something as important as a possible superweapon - which would be completely uncharacteristic of him, I _assure_ you - something is wrong here."

When agents trusted each other, they certainly tended to gather a reputation of knowing things they shouldn't about each other's locations and assignments, classified or not. If Natasha thought Clint would have told her, he probably would have. Fury called up the Singapore assignment. "It appears he was pulled off that assignment for the intelligence team," he informed her. "Completely classified."

"That's not something he would just lie to me about," she assured him, and pulled out her cell phone. At his nod, she dialed. "Hey. Clint? Where are you right now?"

"Flight home," came the tinny voice of SHIELD's best marksman. "Why, do you need me to pick you up some tampons or something? I won't be in for another few hours."

She took a deep breath. "Clint, I need you to tell me if you've been on a classified mission to Grimsey to find a Hydra superweapon." She didn't let him answer before adding, "And I don't care _how_ classified it was, this is absolutely important and Fury's given the okay. I can put you on with him if you want."

"No," the voice came back over speakerphone, "you don't have to put me on with Fury. I haven't been out of Singapore in a week. You know I'd tell you."

She hung up the phone immediately and drew herself up as straight as she could. "Sir, with all due respect, there's no way he's lying to me about this unless you directly ordered him to. Something's seriously-"

Agent Maria Hill chose that exact moment to burst into the room, still talking on an earpiece, "-don't send rescue teams, we have no idea what's waiting! Stand by, I have the Director." She ignored Natasha completely, instead quickly telling Fury, "We've lost contact with all four SHIELD teams on the superweapon search. We think it's communications interference, no gunfire was heard and they were all at different steps in the mission timeline."

"Shit." Natasha's eyes widened. "Sir, this-"

"-is a trap, Agent, believe me, I'm well aware." Fury stood and strode out of the office. "Agent Romanov, get me Captain Rogers on the comms, or tell me you can't. Agent Hill, our reporting protocols have been sabotaged, false reports filed under the names of some of our best agents. This was an inside job. I need messengers to get to all five superweapon teams and inform them they are walking into a trap, I need communications back online…" he rattled off orders even as he wondered whether a superweapon existed at all. _Maybe I should have listened to Stark,_ he thought wryly, _when he told me that was impossible._

Assuming Iron Man survived this mission, he was going to have to - no. He was _not_ going to swell that man's ego and more than it already was. Assuming Iron Man survived, Fury was going to pretend he had never dismissed that particular opinion.

* * *

"Half an hour to descent." It was Tony flying the Quinjet, of course, because Captain 1940s wasn't exactly a technology expert. Why did he need a Quinjet if he could have just flown there himself? Because Fury had decided to stick him with Captain Tight Pants instead of, say, Thor or Rhodes or someone else who could fly. And wouldn't get on his nerves as much.

"Tony, something's wrong with the phone. I can't get Fury." Captain Flip Phone sighed.

He valiantly fought the urge to roll his eyes. "You probably just aren't using it right," he grumbled, "or we're out of service range. I'll take a look at it when we land, okay?"

"I know how to use a _cell phone,_ Stark. Just because I can't use one to hack into the Pentagon doesn't mean I haven't learned how to make a _phone call._ " Captain Argue With Everything was finding yet another thing to complain about. "It said I had four bars just a minute ago, and now it won't connect with anything."

Now he really _did_ roll his eyes. "I'll have a look at it when we land, okay? You probably just hit some weird buttons or something. Honestly, I've never seen anyone manage to break technology in as many ways as you, except maybe Rhodey's mom." Captain Stick-Up-His-Ass just sighed and went back to not talking (which was fine with him).

Of course, when the entire Quinjet jolted and all the electronics went dark at the same time, they both looked at each other. "Wasn't me!" Captain Breaking Things insisted.

"Whatever you just did-" he flicked his wrists to call his suit, and noticed the bracelets were dead. Immediately his mind jumped from _Steve pressing buttons_ to _attack._ "Shit! We've been hit with an EMP!" By the way Steve's eyes went wide instantly, he knew he wasn't going to have to explain what that meant for their continued survival.


End file.
